Sunday, July 13, 2008
pangs of disappointment
"yichun why don't you apply overseas to study with your results you should!!!"
but my family couldn't afford it without a scholarship.
I suddenly feel pangs of disappointment while viewing pictures of my fellow peers receiving scholarships for their future studies. sigh. while mine... seems so uncertain. probably next year would be better. but i just cannot perform during interviews. argh i am a hazard to myself. seriously my demeanor, the way i speak, my stature, my style of life... are all not totally scholistic "material". leadership? not that i display a lot but education keeps teaching us how to be a "leader". did not join a lot of activities in school back then and reflecting back... i was too embarrassed to be a leader. me and "leader" juxtaposed incompatibility. i have my own ideas, my own thoughts on how things should be done... but never a leader.
ok this sounds too depressing to be continued. night.
but my family couldn't afford it without a scholarship.
I suddenly feel pangs of disappointment while viewing pictures of my fellow peers receiving scholarships for their future studies. sigh. while mine... seems so uncertain. probably next year would be better. but i just cannot perform during interviews. argh i am a hazard to myself. seriously my demeanor, the way i speak, my stature, my style of life... are all not totally scholistic "material". leadership? not that i display a lot but education keeps teaching us how to be a "leader". did not join a lot of activities in school back then and reflecting back... i was too embarrassed to be a leader. me and "leader" juxtaposed incompatibility. i have my own ideas, my own thoughts on how things should be done... but never a leader.
ok this sounds too depressing to be continued. night.
# posted by yichun : 7/13/2008 10:27:00 PM
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